Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Reasons Why Your Not Gangster

Since I am a teacher in the inner city I have come into contact with the term "Gangster". Through the help of my co-workers and personal experience I have begun to compile a list of reasons why a person can't be considered "Gangster".

Your not gangster if:

(1) You ride the bus.
(2) Your mom calls the school to excuse your absenses and tardy's.
(3) You vandalize using whiteout.
(4) You lip off to adults while using markers or colored pencils.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Cubs Fans

Honestly, I have no problems with the Cubs organization. I really have no reason to hate them other than the fact they are the Brewers biggest rivals. I even like some of their players alot. I really enjoy watching Derek Lee at first base. It would be hard to find a better defensive player at first than him. I have wacthed alot of Cubs games and he always scoops a bad throw out of the dirt or makes a great defensive play. I also like watching Jim Edmunds for the same reason.

The problem I have is with Cubs fans. They are just annoying. This is probably the case with most fans in general, especially with Red Sox and Yankees fans. I hate Cubs fans because of the whole Wrigley Field North treatment of Miller Park. Miler Park is not your vaction get away and it certaintly is not Wrigley Field North. I am sorry that your games are sold out and that they are played during the day. Miller Park is not your home and it never will be. You are guests in our park and that should be remembered. What makes this even worse is Brewers fans who sell their tickets to Cubs fans. Stop doing this please. I am so sick of these arogant bastards. What made the Brewers trip to the playoffs even better was that they beat the Cubs to do it. I can only hope that the Brewers play the Cubs again and prevent them from going to the Wold Series. News flash to all Cubs fans, just because you have sucked for 100 years doesnt mean you will win the Wolrd Series this year.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Memiors

Recently it has come to my attention that Serena Williams is writing her memoirs. Ms. Williams has lived a wonderful life and done more things in her life than I will probably ever do in mine. She has traveled all over the world and seen many fascinating places. Ms. Williams has played and won the most prestigious events in tennis. There is no doubt that she is one of the best tennis players of all time.

With all that being said she is 26 years old. That's right 26. Although she has done many wonderful things in her life, is it really necessary to write your memoirs now? I am going to go out on a limb and say she is not going to die anytime in the near future. I will also guess that she will do many great things in her life away from the game of tennis. She has many outside interests and is a well rounded person who will no doubt have an impact in other areas of her life. So why would you write your memoirs now? I can't imagine she needs the money. Does she really think her life is that interesting that she needs to recount the first 26 years of her life on paper.

Memoirs are an account of someones life and experiences. These should not be written when you are 26 years old. This is something that should be done when you are older and have a chance to look back at what you have done in your life. Although she is a mature woman I am sure she would look back on her experiences differently when she is in her 40's. Do you know when Ben Franklin started to work on his memoirs? I do, it was from 1771-1790 when he was in his late 70's and early 80's. This is when someone should write about their life's work and experiences. When celebrities write their memoirs at such a young age it is for money and nothing else. I am not saying that this is wrong, but I can't imagine she has a whole lot of meaningful thoughts and insights into her own life and experiences at 26 years old.

Maybe I am wrong and if I am I better get going on my life's work. I'm 27 and a year behind Ms. Williams.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Electric Paper Towel Dispensers in Public Restrooms

There are a lot of little things in life that annoy everyone. I am no different. Usually my annoyances are with the stupidity of other people. One of the things that really bothers me is the electric paper towel dispensers in public restrooms. On the surface these are lovely machines that further help Americans become more and more lazy in every facet of their lives. I am all for being lazy trust me on that. The purpose of the machine is probably to limit the amount of paper towels a person is using or to make it harder for people to waste paper towels. Fine.

However, these machines serve no purpose for people who actually want to dry their hands. I am sorry, but after going to the bathroom I have this nasty little habit of washing my hands. I know I am picky, but public bathrooms are gross. I am only washing my hands because I am not sure who has been using the bathroom before me. This is usually how it goes when I am in a restroom.

Step 1: Enter
Step 2: Use the Urinal or Toilet.
Step 3: Finish My Business
Step 4: Wash My Hands.
Step 5: Dry My Hands
Step 6: Leave

The problem comes in step 5 when the stupid machine only spits out a small towel. I need more than one towel, so now I have to wait for it to spit out another one. What if this is still not enough. Now I have to wait for another towel. Some times it will not give you another towel. Some times it doesn't give you towels at all. This drives me absolutely crazy. All I need is the old school white towel dispensers that allow me to take as many paper towels as I need and go along my way. What is going to be next, electric toilet paper dispensers? This is a perfect example of technology running amuck and creeping in to aspects of our lives that do not need to be tampered with. People have been peeing and shitting without the use of technology for thousands of years. We don't need the help of technology in the bathroom period.